Pseudo-Intellectuals...

... like to use big words like "pseudo-intellectual" to make themselves sound smarter than you.  I'm onto you, motherfuckers!

Anyway, I came to a couple important conclusions today.  The first of these is that "no one" pisses me off.  It sounds like it should be one word, like "someone" or "anyone," but no, it's got to be two separate fucking words.  The only thing I hate more than that word-pairing is people who make it into one goddamn word.  The word "noone" is OBVIOUSLY spelled wrong.  Even if you don't have the handy dandy dotted red line underneath it to tell you that you suck at the english language, you really should be able to tell if the word is spelled wrong or not.  It just looks weird.

The other conclusion I reached today is that I hate "artistes".  As a musician at an arts school, I run into a lot of these.  These are people that honestly think that their random waving of arms, random notes blown into a horn, or shitty one-man plays don't need to look good, sound good, or even make sense because they are an artiste and there artistic expression of their inner soul is all the beauty they will ever need.  I'm all for pushing the envelope of what's tasteful, hell, I listen to metal on a semi-regular basis, but there comes a point where things just straight up sound like shit.  People like this will always say "oh you just don't understand my art," to which I reply "no, I don't, because there really isn't anything to understand: you string random notes and words together and attribute meaning to them after the fact.  I know how you work because I am smarter than you, and I can see through your bullshit."

I'm only cocky because I can be.

Peace out bitches.

I'm Back

Title says it all.  Buncha shit's happened since my random hiatus.  I'm in a country/southern rock cover band, I'm vegan, and I've discovered that everything you do sounds SO MUCH MORE BADASS when you're listening to Parliament.  It's been quite the month, to say the least, and that's not even including the personal drama that I refuse to blog about because frankly, I know you straight up don't want to hear about it.

I guess it is a little ironic that I refuse to blog about my personal life on a blog called "The Place Where I Complain About My Life and Stuff," but I'd be lying if I said I never contradicted myself.  My main issue is that while I have no problem spouting my opinions on any number of issues, I don't feel the need to turn this into yet another "teen blog."  Anyone who'd read this either a) is in high school, and thus has their own shitty teenage drama to deal with or b) already graduated high school, and thus has dealt with their fair share of shitty teenage drama in their lifetime.  Middle schoolers aren't allowed to read my blog.  Go away.  Now.

Anyway, you guys can take this as some kind of attempt to return to regular writings.  Believe it or not, writing is something I enjoy, and something I've been thinking about as an alternative to the whole "musician" thing.  I'm terrible at planing for the future; my previous career plans have included paleontologist, genetic engineer, ornithologist, and professional wrestler.  Having realized that I hate doing things that feel like work, I've ruled out all of those previous career choices, since the first three require too much education and the last one's just fucking dumb.  Now I've managed to narrow down my options to music, writing, and journalism.  I've got a bad habit of picking careers in dying industries.

With that in mind, I'm going to go do something else now.  Expect another post tomorrow.

Peace out bitches.

(Before I forget: You should all listen to the Soulwax Remix of the Muse song Muscle Museum.  It's pretty badass)

Chill the Fuck Out.

You are not going to die of Swine Flu.  I don't understand why this is so hard for so many people to understand.  You didn't die of SARS, you didn't die of the West Nile Virus, you didn't die of Avian Flu, and you sure as hell aren't going to die of this god damn Swine Flu.

I swear, the news media is fucking ridiculous.  It seems like just about any time someone gets some kind of new-ish disease that they immediately blow it WAY out of proportion, instead of focusing on shit we should actually care about.  And yeah, that last one is about Chuck.  Chuck is an awesome show and it should not be canceled.  If it is, I will be really mad at NBC.  I'd threaten to boycott it, but I fuckin love Heroes.  My gods I am a nerd.

Anyway, I guess the main point of this is that people are idiots.  It's not the fault of the media; nobody seems to realize it, but we control the news cycle.  They know that their ratings go up if they create panic among the general population; we're the ones that drive those ratings up when they do.  Shit's ridiculous.

In other news, my teachers, with a few exceptions, are fucking morons.  Two of them in particular really should not have gotten the jobs that they have.  That's all I'll say here.

Peace out bitches.

Gods dammit Keanu Reeves is lame.

Holy shit this is awesome.  They are making a Cowboy Bebop movie. For those of you not in the know, Cowboy Bebop is possibly my favorite anime series, tied with FLCL. It basically consists of space cowboy bounty hunters killing shit to an awesome soundtrack. I'm not a huge anime nerd, but Cowboy Bebop is just fuckin sweet.

Alas, every rose must have its thorn.  That must be why they got motherfucking Keanu Reeves to play Spike Spiegel, the main character of the show. Seriously, I love the Matrix as much as (actually, probably more than) the next guy, but Keanu Reeves is fucking terrible. I really do not want what could be an awesome movie to be ruined by an emotionless zombie performance from Keanu Reeves.  Why the fuck is he famous anyway?  The only good movies he's been in are the Matrix and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

See, anyone who knows me knows I'm a big fan of dumb action movies.  This is why shit like 300, the Matrix, and Fight Club are some of my favorite movies.  Granted, the Matrix and Fight Club both have at least a little substance to them, but the point is made.  The main problem with movies like this is that Keanu motherfucking Reeves has an annoying tendency to show up in them.  If I want to watch a goddamn zombie movie I'll watch a goddamn zombie movie, but I personally prefer my action heroes to have a bit more to them then "apathetic grimace" and "apathetic grimace."

Fuck you Keanu Reeves.

Peace out bitches.

WTF Obama?

First off, to anyone who actually read through the shit sandwich that was my post yesterday, sorry.  That was a total cop out and I really just should've waited until something legitimate to write about came to mind.

Now that that's out of the way, has anyone seen this shit?  Apparently, Obama is releasing some Bush-era memos regarding torture.  Specifically, that we torture.  Now, as far as I'm concerned, this is cool.  I'm all for the government being open with the people.  However, a few conservative monkeys with shit for brains seem to think that keeping the public informed of some of our governments less-than-stellar moments will somehow bring about the fall of democracy.  It honestly scares the shit out of me that we have people in our society who legitimately think torture is cool.

Now, being the even-handed guy that I am, I can't just criticize one side of the issue without pointing out the gaping holes in the other side.  You see, although Obama had the balls to release this shit, he still doesn't want to prosecute any of the C.I.A. operatives who authorized or carried out the torture.  That shit ain't cool.  As far as I'm concerned, the bitches should get put away for the shit that they did.

In other news, Jesus tittyfucking christ I hate pollen.  There's so much in the air down here that it's actually starting to make my eyes water.  I'm not even allergic to that shit.

Fuck pollen.

Peace out bitches.

I'M ANGRY! AND SWEARING!

Dammit it is so hard to write a fucking blog based on anger, swearing, and blatant attempts to shock people into laughing when you just aren't that pissed off.  There hasn't been anything in the news to piss me off, and I haven't had any experiences with people that make me question whether or not they deserve their place in the gene pool.  If you know me, please do something that is abso-fucking-lutely retarded near or to me so I can bitch about it here.

Have any of you ever been in the middle of a conversation when someone says something that is just begging for a witty comment, but when the opportunity arises, you just can't think of anything to say that isn't completely retarded?  That's what writer's block feels like, especially when you have absolutely nothing to feed off of.  Sure, I could spend hours combing the internet for gems of human stupidity, but I like to at least pretend I'm cool sometimes and that I don't spend all my time on Facebook/Twitter/this blog/the internet in general looking for things to make me angry at humanity.

Anyway, that's all for tonight.

Peace out bitches.

Woo Politics Woo

You know, I would totally make fun of this whole teabagging thing and complain about Obama shooting down marijuana legalization if it weren't already old news. Maybe I should start getting my news from places other than old episodes of the Daily Show.  I could definitely bitch about Obama giving a shit ass ton of money to people who don't deserve it, but again, my news is all old and filtered through whatever the Daily Show/occasionally Stephen Colbert can make funny, so it's really not worth it.  Obama's all like "hey banks, way to fuck up the economy, here's a billion dollars and little/no oversight, go fix it."

Alright, I'll stop libertarianing all over everything, I don't really feel like dealing with the bunched up panties of those who might crucify me for criticizing Saint Obama.  If it makes you guys feel any better, I didn't vote McCain.  I do find it a little hilarious that people get so attached to certain famous people and institutions.  Sure, I might get a little overexcited whenever Apple or Blizzard release a new product (ZOMG STARCRAFT 2 MIGHT COME OUT IN THE NEXT 10 YEARS!), but my hero worship doesn't really extend past a few assertions that my favorite company's product is and always will be better than your company's product (I'm sorry guys, Apple is just the shit).  There are some crazy motherfuckers out there who seem to think that any attack on their idol is a personal attack on their dignity.  I've got news for you people.  Your idols don't give a fuck about you or any of your opinions, so stop treating them like gods.

Seems like a cheery note to end things on.

Peace out bitches.